My daughter is dating a loser

05-Sep-2019 18:50

But it’s a true fact that few families operate according to an ideal blueprint.

You may have felt that having him in your home was safer than her perhaps running away and living with him. I take it that you believe that “Stacy’s” relief from her depression and anxiety is tied to her boyfriend’s presence in the household.

My little sister dated a guy who kept trying to convince her to drop out of a UC school and move into his mom's garage with him, up to and including threatening suicide if she didn't.

It took way too much effort on my dad and my part to get her to put the kibosh on that relationship, mostly because the guy's mom thought my sister was good for him and tried to fight us on it.

Besides that, he 1) dropped out of high school at 14; 2) never attempted to get a GED/diploma equivalency; 3) had more than one conviction for public intoxication/underage drinking/drunk driving, which left him 4) "unable" to get a job for approximately 18 months of the about 2 years they were together; 5) got fired from Walmart after only working two weeks, for missing work because his kid supposedly was victim of an abduction attempt (turns out the kid made it up); 6) smoked weed in her apartment bathroom, knowing that if my daughter failed a drug screen her career would be ruined; 7) had his two kids every other weekend, but spent the entire time with headphones on, gaming, meaning my daughter had to watch his kids or they'd destroy her apartment; 8) would only eat corn or potatoes, hamburgers or chicken fingers, or pizza, but fast food was A-ok; 9) never picked up after himself, so every horizontal surface was covered in half-drunk pop cans, fast food wrappers, cups and bags, dirty plates, moldy food (daughter is an RN and worked 12-hour shifts, which is sort of an excuse); 10) punched a hole in her apartment wall; 11) held a gun to his own head, then laughed at her for taking him seriously; 12) constantly accused her of cheating, so she had to unfriend all males on her Facebook, including her father; 13) threatened to leave when her anxiety and depression had her sleeping anytime she wasn't at work; and 14) when she finally took him up on his bluff it was during a terrifying food-throwing, soda-hurling, furniture-smashing temper tantrum that had her grab her cats from under the bed and come to my house 50 miles away.

And then I spent the next year remembering all the dumb stuff I thought and did and put up with for him, and cringing over it. They used to live in Lithuania, had a newly renovated apartment, good jobs, family nearby, everything was pretty good.

Suddenly the guy decides he needs to emigrate to Canada, no serious reason, he just wants to go to Canada.

Ugh, the suicide threat had me trapped in a relationship for a while until I realized 1.

He didn't actually care about me as a person, he just cared about making sure he wouldn't be alone and 2.

Besides that, he 1) dropped out of high school at 14; 2) never attempted to get a GED/diploma equivalency; 3) had more than one conviction for public intoxication/underage drinking/drunk driving, which left him 4) "unable" to get a job for approximately 18 months of the about 2 years they were together; 5) got fired from Walmart after only working two weeks, for missing work because his kid supposedly was victim of an abduction attempt (turns out the kid made it up); 6) smoked weed in her apartment bathroom, knowing that if my daughter failed a drug screen her career would be ruined; 7) had his two kids every other weekend, but spent the entire time with headphones on, gaming, meaning my daughter had to watch his kids or they'd destroy her apartment; 8) would only eat corn or potatoes, hamburgers or chicken fingers, or pizza, but fast food was A-ok; 9) never picked up after himself, so every horizontal surface was covered in half-drunk pop cans, fast food wrappers, cups and bags, dirty plates, moldy food (daughter is an RN and worked 12-hour shifts, which is sort of an excuse); 10) punched a hole in her apartment wall; 11) held a gun to his own head, then laughed at her for taking him seriously; 12) constantly accused her of cheating, so she had to unfriend all males on her Facebook, including her father; 13) threatened to leave when her anxiety and depression had her sleeping anytime she wasn't at work; and 14) when she finally took him up on his bluff it was during a terrifying food-throwing, soda-hurling, furniture-smashing temper tantrum that had her grab her cats from under the bed and come to my house 50 miles away.

And then I spent the next year remembering all the dumb stuff I thought and did and put up with for him, and cringing over it. They used to live in Lithuania, had a newly renovated apartment, good jobs, family nearby, everything was pretty good.

Suddenly the guy decides he needs to emigrate to Canada, no serious reason, he just wants to go to Canada.

Ugh, the suicide threat had me trapped in a relationship for a while until I realized 1.

He didn't actually care about me as a person, he just cared about making sure he wouldn't be alone and 2.

Of course you cannot just go to Canada, and he is unable to get a permit to go to Canada (or some other documents, I don't know for sure).