Dating a single mom with kids

19-Jan-2020 22:20

It’s a tough nut to crack and not a perfect picture for anyone, least of all me. And I was blessed to become one for the first time at 27 years old.

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If you’re not feeling it with the person, go ahead and end it.

When he does, my world will open up to more potential partners—men who, admittedly, only want the woman and not her so-called baggage. Because as I see it, I have recently embarked on a grand adventure. A person can only spend so long applauding someone else’s success before becoming lost in it altogether. So, when a man doesn’t call me after he learns I am a single mom who has full physical custody of my children, or when a man tells me he doesn’t want to meet my children now or doesn’t think he should ever meet them, I take pause. Though I don’t specifically recall the conversation, during the throes of my divorce I apparently told her I a man. The correct word is “want.” I don’t need anything or anyone to make my life whole. But I find myself in a difficult position today, in limbo between my love and responsibility for my children and my desire to share my life with another adult.

But at 41, I don’t want to think of my prospects for finding a soul mate as all but impossible because of the full and busy household my ex decided to walk away from. I have to, at least for the time being, consider the possibility I may be single for the next nine or so years until my youngest child goes off to college. I am no longer trapped in an unhappy marriage with an unappreciative and inattentive husband, and no longer living in anyone else’s shadow. Or should I put my romantic life on hold altogether so I can focus on my children, because so far, no one right for them, let alone for me, has emerged? A close friend reminded me that in the not so distant past I complained to her about no longer having a man in my life.

But if your date asks what you’re looking for, let them know.

Some potential partners might be looking to settle down, but you just want to go out a few nights a week and have sex.

If you’re not feeling it with the person, go ahead and end it.

When he does, my world will open up to more potential partners—men who, admittedly, only want the woman and not her so-called baggage. Because as I see it, I have recently embarked on a grand adventure. A person can only spend so long applauding someone else’s success before becoming lost in it altogether. So, when a man doesn’t call me after he learns I am a single mom who has full physical custody of my children, or when a man tells me he doesn’t want to meet my children now or doesn’t think he should ever meet them, I take pause. Though I don’t specifically recall the conversation, during the throes of my divorce I apparently told her I a man. The correct word is “want.” I don’t need anything or anyone to make my life whole. But I find myself in a difficult position today, in limbo between my love and responsibility for my children and my desire to share my life with another adult.

But at 41, I don’t want to think of my prospects for finding a soul mate as all but impossible because of the full and busy household my ex decided to walk away from. I have to, at least for the time being, consider the possibility I may be single for the next nine or so years until my youngest child goes off to college. I am no longer trapped in an unhappy marriage with an unappreciative and inattentive husband, and no longer living in anyone else’s shadow. Or should I put my romantic life on hold altogether so I can focus on my children, because so far, no one right for them, let alone for me, has emerged? A close friend reminded me that in the not so distant past I complained to her about no longer having a man in my life.

But if your date asks what you’re looking for, let them know.

Some potential partners might be looking to settle down, but you just want to go out a few nights a week and have sex.

It’s totally fine to be on different pages, but it’s something you need to speak about sooner rather than later.